Well what can I say my weekend, was different, Friday my ex Pete came to town and we shared a hotel room together for the first time, we also went out for the first time together, we did so many things that we would have never done while we were together, the most important getting very very drunk and and dancing and doing other extra circular activities, which is never good when you are in the morning after the night before mode. But there were things that I did remember.
Like seeing Richard and his new boyfriend, and you know they know you are there, so they start to do things that make you notice them more like blank you, even when you do a near head on collision, with them and then when you are dancing with friends you bump into they start to practically have sex on stage, just for your entertainment, and stop the moment you walk away.
Then there was Darren and his new thing for the night, as he doesn't do boyfriends at the moment, he does a pound of flesh.
So why is it that every ex you have looks better than you do, no matter if people tell you, you are fabulous, they just seem to have that edge that you don't, dear god even Pete looked better than he did the last time I saw him.
But looking back as Pete did bring up a good point, he has never known or seen me, with a guy that can truly control me, which makes you wonder about youth today in all relationships, are we the uncontrollable generation?
Sunday 29 April 2007
Friday 27 April 2007
Right Now I Am So F***ed Off
I am so fucked off right now, as I have just been conned out of a phone, and money has gone out of my account earlier than it should have. So I am very broke right now and I am supposed to me going out to night as well and I have no idea what I am going to be doing.
Also why is it when you are feeling very low, every tom, dick, harry and their uncle decide it would be a good idea to phone you, and they all ask for your advice on their relationships or their business problems. But you have to be nice because they are you friends, but all you really want to do is just tell them to fuck off, because you are not in the mood to talk to people.
I Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr the world right now, and even no I can't hit anything as I have to look after and cook for a 12 year old. Then I have to get ready to go out and have dinner with my 2nd ex fiance oh the joys of being loved.
Also why is it when you are feeling very low, every tom, dick, harry and their uncle decide it would be a good idea to phone you, and they all ask for your advice on their relationships or their business problems. But you have to be nice because they are you friends, but all you really want to do is just tell them to fuck off, because you are not in the mood to talk to people.
I Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr the world right now, and even no I can't hit anything as I have to look after and cook for a 12 year old. Then I have to get ready to go out and have dinner with my 2nd ex fiance oh the joys of being loved.
Thursday 26 April 2007
Booking Through Thursday
Booking Through Thursday
- Does what you read vary by the season? For instance, Do you read different kinds of books in the summer than the winter? Not really I tend to be a romance kind of guy or psychological thriller
- If so, do you break it down by genre, length of book, or...? doesn't matter really it's a good blub I will probablt just read it anyway LOL
Heaven Through Me, And Hell Just Toke Me Whole
What would you do if the guy you were seeing,after you said that 4 letter word, said lets take a break a step back, and we see if we can get there, then a couple of days later you look him, up online and you see that he is already in another relationship, with a bloke I never knew existed, even though I saw it and I read it, I could read it. But as it sunk in, my heart hit the floor, and I had to stop myself from being really sick. I haven't felt like that in years, even now looking back on that time, I still get the feeling of falling.
Even approaching the subject with him, he could even say it to me then, just gave me excuses why he couldn't, tell me, which hurts even more. Since then I haven't spoken to him since, although I had to phone tizzie, and hit a few things really hard, and nearlly broke the kitchen counter.
So since I have then I have worked really hard, and not done alot else until, my ex sends me messages, saying do you want to meet up for dinner and a night out, so we shall were I end up.
God What am I doing???????
Even approaching the subject with him, he could even say it to me then, just gave me excuses why he couldn't, tell me, which hurts even more. Since then I haven't spoken to him since, although I had to phone tizzie, and hit a few things really hard, and nearlly broke the kitchen counter.
So since I have then I have worked really hard, and not done alot else until, my ex sends me messages, saying do you want to meet up for dinner and a night out, so we shall were I end up.
God What am I doing???????
Thursday Thirteen #4
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2.... I love you mother more than you. 3.... I slept with your best friends. 4.... We need to talk. 5.... (Two weeks in) Your sister coming up and says "when you getting married" 6.... (A month in) Lets have a baby. 7.... Do you want to meet my wife? 8.... My Friends hate you! 9.... You look like Bridget Jones in the morning. (Yes people have said this) 10.... I don't want a relationship, then you find out, a couple of days later he is in another one. 11.... I want you to tie me up. (This only works in certain relationships) 12.... NAGGING. This should never be done in a relationship. 13.... I think we should see a therapist. |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Friday 20 April 2007
If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time
If You could turn back the hands of time, would you undo, what was, to change what is????
Well Wednesday night, after waiting half an hour, and having to listen to blokes obviously having sex, problem was the fact that you could probably here them for space, and by the sound of it, it wasn't enjoyable. So anyway he turns up, and we drive to the beach again, although this is the unhappy part of the beach, where all our serious conversations and home truths come out.
So he is trying to tell me what he wants, and like a true man, (Yes we all know he is gay, but even we can have straight manly moments), he is making no sense what so ever, all I can feel is my heart sinking to the floor, and my head going I told you so, which by the is not a good feeling. However, I finally get part of the point he is trying to make, he wants to go out meet new people, go on dates, go up to random men in a bar and ask them, if they want a drink, and he could do it with a guy in his life, or relationship in his life. (Confused, well guess what so am I still), but I do understand, and I know where I fit into that whole life style, I sit on the side lines and watch him, do it, and then try if I can protect him, when it gets ugly, because of him being in relationships most of his gay life, I am not sure he really knows whats out there that could bite him on the ass (And not in a good way).
So after this conversation we decide to head back well he drove, and said i will text you soon, which most of the time that's code for I am never going to see you again. So I got the new version of "it's not you it's me", also the new version of "Can we still be friends". Just to top that, when I got in I was moaned at leaving my straighteners, on the drawers to cool down, and my laptop being on the table, when Life loves you it really does have a way of showing it. don't you just love it. LOL
Song of the Day
Well Wednesday night, after waiting half an hour, and having to listen to blokes obviously having sex, problem was the fact that you could probably here them for space, and by the sound of it, it wasn't enjoyable. So anyway he turns up, and we drive to the beach again, although this is the unhappy part of the beach, where all our serious conversations and home truths come out.
So he is trying to tell me what he wants, and like a true man, (Yes we all know he is gay, but even we can have straight manly moments), he is making no sense what so ever, all I can feel is my heart sinking to the floor, and my head going I told you so, which by the is not a good feeling. However, I finally get part of the point he is trying to make, he wants to go out meet new people, go on dates, go up to random men in a bar and ask them, if they want a drink, and he could do it with a guy in his life, or relationship in his life. (Confused, well guess what so am I still), but I do understand, and I know where I fit into that whole life style, I sit on the side lines and watch him, do it, and then try if I can protect him, when it gets ugly, because of him being in relationships most of his gay life, I am not sure he really knows whats out there that could bite him on the ass (And not in a good way).
So after this conversation we decide to head back well he drove, and said i will text you soon, which most of the time that's code for I am never going to see you again. So I got the new version of "it's not you it's me", also the new version of "Can we still be friends". Just to top that, when I got in I was moaned at leaving my straighteners, on the drawers to cool down, and my laptop being on the table, when Life loves you it really does have a way of showing it. don't you just love it. LOL
Song of the Day
Wednesday 18 April 2007
Rabbit Caught In Head Lights
What would you say the worst thing that could happen to you, when you and the guy you are seeing have sort of just sorted things out, and I don't really know how they did, it just sort of happened, I got told if he starts to freak out just to tell him to shut up and move on. which yes I would but even still I am now I am a Heartless Bitch, but I am not careless, so I would have some issues telling them what to do, in the messing with there emotions side of life.
I also gave him a secret today that, also by writing it here I am also announcing to the world, that I have never not once done any form of PDA (Public Displays of Affection) with anyone, I am come across as confident and able to handle anything in the world but I have never done that, well until Friday then, I really came out of the shell with no neon sign and and did the whole walking down the middle of Brighton, holding a guys hand, kissing in public and lying on the beach, and lying with someone. Which at the time made me look around and see who else really did what we were and do you know apart from the lying down an the beach thing, I saw less than a dozen couples of all sexuality's doing the exact same thing, so what does this say are we to scared to go out into the open and let people see who we are really with? or is that we are not comfortable with everybody watching the close couple walking down the street? Also noticing that nearly nine out of ten people will look at a couple holding hands, kissing in public, and want to know why they can't do it.
Also I have majorly digressed, I truly had a Kodak moment today, as the man in question (You know who you are) and I got caught, having sex in the living room, which would have not been good, its one thing for people you know to see you do it, but its also worse if it's a member of the family about to walk through the door and catch you in "the act" (Trying to be polite), so his face really did look like a bunny caught in head lights, so after he quick dressing and the small pleasantries he fled, going commando of course as he forgot to put his boxers back on.
Although I did get reminded today of a saying in which we should all follow, but all know we never will.
I also gave him a secret today that, also by writing it here I am also announcing to the world, that I have never not once done any form of PDA (Public Displays of Affection) with anyone, I am come across as confident and able to handle anything in the world but I have never done that, well until Friday then, I really came out of the shell with no neon sign and and did the whole walking down the middle of Brighton, holding a guys hand, kissing in public and lying on the beach, and lying with someone. Which at the time made me look around and see who else really did what we were and do you know apart from the lying down an the beach thing, I saw less than a dozen couples of all sexuality's doing the exact same thing, so what does this say are we to scared to go out into the open and let people see who we are really with? or is that we are not comfortable with everybody watching the close couple walking down the street? Also noticing that nearly nine out of ten people will look at a couple holding hands, kissing in public, and want to know why they can't do it.
Also I have majorly digressed, I truly had a Kodak moment today, as the man in question (You know who you are) and I got caught, having sex in the living room, which would have not been good, its one thing for people you know to see you do it, but its also worse if it's a member of the family about to walk through the door and catch you in "the act" (Trying to be polite), so his face really did look like a bunny caught in head lights, so after he quick dressing and the small pleasantries he fled, going commando of course as he forgot to put his boxers back on.
Although I did get reminded today of a saying in which we should all follow, but all know we never will.
DANCE
As though no one is watching you.
SING
As though no one can hear you.
LOVE
As though you have never been hurt before.
LIVE
As though heaven is on earth.
Anyway at gone 3 A.M. I must try and sleep, otherwise people are going to have to get their irons out, just to take the wrinkles out of my face.
P.S. He is staying till tomorrow WOOHOO.
Song for the day reflects on the P.S.
Tuesday 17 April 2007
Critical Rave
The Years hottest film, to hit cinema, according to the critics
The Critics have said this movie will flop do you agree???
The Critics have said this movie will flop do you agree???
How Do You Stop A Speeding Train, That Has No Brakes
How do you stop that speeding train that has no brakes?, By having an msn conversation and talking more on a beach at stupid 'o' clock in the evening, and I am still lost in my own head, of what I really should be feeling in this moment in time.
Having nearlly everything you desired and it being taken away, well ok thats probably not the way to put it, however thats wht I see it looking like, Luke wants to start from scratch, which is fair enough!!! Like only seeing each other at weekends like one or two days a week, which I had expected with his work schedule and stuff, being a teacher and all, only texting each other when, we feel a need to.
But the ultimate question of the evening is, Can you start from scratch with a man you have said that three letter phrase to? and we all know what those three words are!!!! we have all used them at least a dozen times in all our life times (And yes ladies and gentlemen, And the undecided you greedy bastards, I actually said that little phrase) but it was also returned.
I agree with the why, he wants to I mean we have a had a whistle stop tour of the relationship world in the space of four days and yes thoughts and jokes about the future have been made, but do i don't get whats going on in his head to see what made it turn from the down right fantastic to the OH MY GOD, let me run in the opposite direction. Maybe I will understand it, once I have finished this litre tube of Ben and Jerry, and Titanic has finished.
But what did come out of it was that in a month's time we will meet up go out for dinner somewhere and look at it and say, can we do this or are we looking at it and making complete tits out of ourselves. We will have to wait and see, Lets take things slow and see where we end up!!!
Anyway I Leo and the TV so I must go and look at the the pretty man, and in honour of the film, todays song is as follows
Enjoy
Blessed Be
>
Sunday 15 April 2007
Cloud Nine, Can't Even Hold Me Right Now
The Internet, has many uses nowadays, you can buy food, take out, clothes, cars, and shoes. but did we ever think we could find romance.
Well I have just had one of the nicest weekends, in so long, and it has also been strange, I met a man, and he is truly intriguing, I met him online in the morning and then within, about an hour and a half, he was sat on my sofa drinking coffee as I was getting, ready for a job interview, (also must say that men have the worst timing, half way through brushing my teeth and they knock on the door) however, we sat chatting about quite a few things, and nearly scarred him off because he knows, I have bad taste in men, (well I would have to agree at certain points, look at my track record LOL) anyway went to the interview with a really weird HR manager, who tried to use Harry Potter as a example, although it would help if he knew who Harry Potter was.
So after the interview I got a phone call from Luke (strange man with bad timing) saying that he was on the beach, so I went and sat with him until about 6, talking more about random stuff, this and that, after that he took me to the best ice cream place in Hove, and Paid (First thing that threw me and it has been a very look time since anyone has ever paid for anything, (This doesn't include family), and another offer was did I want to go to London with him for the night, his treat, yes this man does actually exist. So after deliberating, in my head I decided to say yes and go, It was a good night I met his friend Veronica, and by this point, I have really noticed that half hearted deep and meaningful conversations, are constantly being had. Anyway I lose track of what I am saying, Morning comes along and sex happens more than once and Christ he is not bad at it, at all, to the point gone 2 in the afternoon (Saturday) we are still in bed. which was very nice being able to wake up with somebody next to you!! ( I recommend to all ).
After getting home and some msn talk, he is back on my doorstep, with my favourite flowers, in the world (White Roses For you who don't know), and my second surprise was a film, the only bitch of the entire night was I had to go home at the end of it all, I couldn't wake up next to him again.
As it happens Jason was up on Sunday, my big bitching partner, we love the Jason, so according to Jason I have made a good choice he likes this one, he also thinks his ass looks good and according to Luke, I am impressing his friends which Is good. And I think now we have classed ourselves as seeing each other, boyfriend, It feels strange I had three dates in one day, and only been apart from him for a few hours at a time since meeting him, and we are now in a relationship, the quickest start to a relationship I have ever had. And I like it.
Well As It is 3A.M. I had better do some work.
Talk To You All Soon.
Song Of The Weekend.
Well I have just had one of the nicest weekends, in so long, and it has also been strange, I met a man, and he is truly intriguing, I met him online in the morning and then within, about an hour and a half, he was sat on my sofa drinking coffee as I was getting, ready for a job interview, (also must say that men have the worst timing, half way through brushing my teeth and they knock on the door) however, we sat chatting about quite a few things, and nearly scarred him off because he knows, I have bad taste in men, (well I would have to agree at certain points, look at my track record LOL) anyway went to the interview with a really weird HR manager, who tried to use Harry Potter as a example, although it would help if he knew who Harry Potter was.
So after the interview I got a phone call from Luke (strange man with bad timing) saying that he was on the beach, so I went and sat with him until about 6, talking more about random stuff, this and that, after that he took me to the best ice cream place in Hove, and Paid (First thing that threw me and it has been a very look time since anyone has ever paid for anything, (This doesn't include family), and another offer was did I want to go to London with him for the night, his treat, yes this man does actually exist. So after deliberating, in my head I decided to say yes and go, It was a good night I met his friend Veronica, and by this point, I have really noticed that half hearted deep and meaningful conversations, are constantly being had. Anyway I lose track of what I am saying, Morning comes along and sex happens more than once and Christ he is not bad at it, at all, to the point gone 2 in the afternoon (Saturday) we are still in bed. which was very nice being able to wake up with somebody next to you!! ( I recommend to all ).
After getting home and some msn talk, he is back on my doorstep, with my favourite flowers, in the world (White Roses For you who don't know), and my second surprise was a film, the only bitch of the entire night was I had to go home at the end of it all, I couldn't wake up next to him again.
As it happens Jason was up on Sunday, my big bitching partner, we love the Jason, so according to Jason I have made a good choice he likes this one, he also thinks his ass looks good and according to Luke, I am impressing his friends which Is good. And I think now we have classed ourselves as seeing each other, boyfriend, It feels strange I had three dates in one day, and only been apart from him for a few hours at a time since meeting him, and we are now in a relationship, the quickest start to a relationship I have ever had. And I like it.
Well As It is 3A.M. I had better do some work.
Talk To You All Soon.
Song Of The Weekend.
Friday 13 April 2007
Thursday Thirteen #3
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1. Village People - YMCA Links to other Thursdaythirteen'ss! 1. (leave your link in comments, I'll add you here!) |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting felloThirteenersrs is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. ItÂ’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Sunday 1 April 2007
Eurovision
Is this what we really sending to Eurovision, Is it just me or can you see another big fat 0 coming are way??
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