In a relationship why do people always want to open the ex-files?

In a relationship do we have to go backwards to go forwards?, because it seems that we want to know about the past and it seems that we can't go forward without knowing what we have in the past it's like having a wound that won't heal and sometimes we go overboard in wanting to know what our partners did in the past and in a way it starts to ruin the relationship because people have this hole that needs to be filled but what if your past brings up memories which should be left were they were buried so it causes more problems than it solves. Are we that curious that we have to compare ourselves with everyone else they have had?

But it still doesn't answer the question why do people bring up the past, Is because we all feel insecure about what that person has done before and whether they have seen and done better so there is always this doubt in your mind, this little voice asking you have you done the right thing?

But is this the only reason????? Can people really want to know what went on in their partners past??? Do we all want a sense of control about what went on????

After asking Julian and Sarah-Lee from The George, Julian said he would open them up so he could get a sexual rise out of his partner, which would lead to an arguement, and 9/10 times it would also lead to make-up sex and use what he know to help him, give his partner what they wanted.

There are so many questions on the reasons why people are hell bent on knowing the past but in trying so hard to see the past do we see forget to look ahead of us?

Some people say that this baggage can help in early conversations about what we talk about in relationships as we use are ex’s to say what we want in the future, however do we know when to stop, or do people know when to stop asking and digging?

But even with all these questions will we ever know when to open and close are ex-files?

Decisions

We all make them, the big ones and the little ones, but are we ever sure if we made the right ones?

I have had many friends on the phone or e-mail to me asking whether they are doing the right choice about what they are doing with their lives or their relationships, as lately Nicky, has been doing a lot of this, calling me up at all hours of the day with her relationship with Matt, and it's taken me five longs months to try and convince her to leave him, and go out there and find new life, however as this is Nicky she rarely takes any advice, So this is why it has taken fives months to try and get her to see sense and stop sleeping with him, every time he says that he loves her, (As most girls and guys know that when an ex says this they are looking for a shag, plain and simple), But finely now I hope that she has seen the light as she found some new guy, to play with, that she doesn't go back with him, as I can't do another five months being on the phone three times a day at least about the same relationship!

However some choices we make don't need advice just the gentle listening ear, as they voice their doubts, for example Jonny, had a medical to try and get into the police service, but had doubts about whether he should go and do it, deep down he knew what he was going to do, its just the consequences of what his choice brought gave him doubt in the decision that he was going to make.

As all decisions and choices that we make in life bring around consequences, and unfortunately they are not always good! and we have to deal with these consequences and try to fix what we broke or enjoy the rewards that they bring! However consequences can have a big effect on what we do, and what choices we make, so do these consequences that will come make are minds up for us? So in light of this we would always go for the choice that would be good for us even if it is the wrong choice.

Do we now live in a world, that we will always go for the good consequences even if it is the wrong decision or choice, because we are to scared about the consequences of the choice?